Julie
Joseph seems to be testing his brothers here. I am not clear on exactly why, unless he is trying to see if they have changed. He had requested that they come back with his youngest brother, which is his full brother, and their father was highly resistant to let that happen since he believes Joseph to be dead. Then Joseph tricks them to keep Benjamin, his youngest brother. However, his older brother begs for Benjamin to return and he offers to stay in his place. This is a big switch from when they sold Joseph. He knows that his father loves Benjamin more just as he did Joseph, but they don't seem to be jealous of Benjamin in the way that they were with Joseph.
Sometimes we want to test others and their integrity to find out if they are true to their word, especially if we have been wronged before. I wonder if that is what Joseph is trying to do here or if he is just trying to make his brothers sweat. That is something we are prone to do as well.
Psalm 26:6-7 stood out the most to me today. "I wash my hands in innocence and around your altar, O Lord, proclaiming thanksgiving aloud, and telling all your wondrous deeds". The whole Psalm speaks to this, but I feel like this is the center of this Psalm. He is saying that he has refused to fall into the trap of the evil and does not follow their path. However, he also shares to the goodness of God regardless/in spite of the evil that is surrounding him. I am not the best at sharing with others, especially because the subject of God and faith and our beliefs can be a touchy subject for some people. I think this a reminder that we should rejoice in what God gives and does for us and that we should not be ashamed or fear sharing that with everyone. I would hope that I would be faithful enough to do this.
Michelle
It does seem like he is testing his brothers in some way. Trying to find out their motives maybe. He doesn't seem malicious in any way here but rather cautious. Although I don't understand why, as he has risen in status and is more powerful than all of them, I don't see what the need is for it. I thought maybe it was out of spite, but the passage doesn't really read spiteful. I also don't get why he keeps sending the silver back with them. Is he trying to be giving? I can't really tell at this point. Hopefully there is more to the story and it will show where we are being led.
I agree we tend to show this type of behavior with others. I know I have done it, whether right or wrong. I also think it is yet another example of God using those that are not perfect. I realized that is the expectation I had of all the people from the bible that were important to God, that they were used because they were righteous in their behavior, but that is not at all what I have read so far. It seems that it is more about faithfulness and less about good behavior that makes them righteous. After our discussion last night I started to think about it. I don't think we really know what righteousness looks like, but from the readings so far it has shown that being faithful to God and following the path and direction he is giving you is what makes a person righteous. Even though some have strayed or tried to take matters into their own hands, they are always pulled back to God and reminded that they need only follow him and have faith that he will do the things promised.
The psalm has me perplexed for some reason. I think because it starts with him asking for vindication. From what exactly? It almost sounds like he is pleading his case for doing the right things but still being persecuted. Which I can understand. Sometimes even doing the right thing seems like it doesn't lead you on a path that you would expect, but just more struggle. Doing the right thing is hard, doing the wrong thing is easy yet will cause you more trouble in the long run. And I have to admit that there are many times I would rather do the wrong thing because it is easier and I get tired of the hard things in life. Sometimes I wish I could do the wrong thing but then I think about the consequences that would come along with that and I stop myself. Oh, but I think about it.
I also felt like those same verses stood out. I am also not one to share normally. There are very few people that know my beliefs. I think because it's hard to explain how I got here and also because I am not yet comfortable in my level of knowledge of the bible that keeps me from talking about it. I actually had a moment where I gave myself to God. I haven't shared with anyone I know aside from my friend Joyce and she is the one that took me and Nathan to church. It was a year or so after mom died and I was in a really bad place, not just from her death but just going thru alot of changes in life and having a really hard time mentally dealing with it all and trying to understand who I was at that point. Nathan came home one day and asked why we didn't go to church and who God was and I had no idea what to tell him. How do you answer that question when you are questioning your own beliefs? When you don't understand it yourself? So after my friend had asked me like a hundred times to join them, I finally called her up and asked if we could attend with her. I still cry when I think about it. It was so hard for me, but Nathan just latched on and learned so much. And I stuck it out. They were starting a series called Transformed, so my friend got me the book they gave out at church and invited me to attend her life group. I hate new people so that was really uncomfortable for me. And I feel judged around new people, prob cuz I judge people alot, although someone told me it's really just observations, but I digress. So I did it and went thru the series, attended every Sunday, went to Life group while Nathan went to the kids class, and I was somehow transformed. That sounds stupid but that is actually how it happened. Some other things had happened before that lead up to this but this is the short version. The series though, had you look at different areas of your life and related it back to the bible and what and how God wants you to do these things. It was so informative and something just spoke to me every week and made me feel better every time I went. It has been such a change in my life. And I continue to feel changes in myself. There have been times when I have slid back and times when my mind takes me places I shouldn't go, but somehow I get moved back to God and drawn back to where I am supposed to be. I think that whole faith thing is hard and that is why I keep going back and forth. But I stay closer to it now than I ever have. I strive to be faithful in everything to God. And having faith that if I share my story those that are meant to stay in my life will is hard too. Cuz I think we want people to stay even when it's time for them to go and that is very difficult for me to come to terms with. I get comfortable and change is uncomfortable and hard for me to deal with mentally. So I guess there is some fear that if I share too much that some that are important to me now will go away, even though I know it may be for the best. It's still hard. And not being comfortable in my knowledge does not help that at all. Doing this study, I am hoping that it will help me gain more confidence so that I become more comfortable sharing with others.
If you want to watch my story from church, here is the link. Hopefully I copied it right. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5GTn5PFfQw